Last Youth 8-18-10

Tonight was crazy. The Lord was in it and it was incredible. Everything came together. Jimmy told me last week that I'm giving my testimony -apparently an instant obedience to the Holy Spirit- and the second he says that, I hear, "You're talking about your slavery to masturbation and your relationship with you-know-who."

Oh. Eff.

It was one thing to tell a couple of people about my testimony. It's another to tell everyone in my youth group.

So I'm praying pretty much all week for words from the Spirit. We get into worship tonight and Jimmy starts talking about freedom - interesting since I'm taking about my past slavery. Then Andy -an alumnus who's going to my same college- talks about the freedom you have in going to a Christian college. Then I start talking (well, not me, but Spirit) about my freedom, how I wouldn't be free if my good friend hadn't led me to the settingcaptivesfree.com website and how I wouldn't be free if my King didn't die in my place. Now I start tearing up -out of NOWHERE mind you- because I talk about how I was the one that hurt him but He loved me enough to die for me anyways.

Love. Love is a powerful motivation. "We love because He first loved us." (1 John 4:19) And I love so many people. They have all made such a huge impact in my life and love them for all they do for me.

I just want to take the time to shout out everyone who has made my LIFE tonight. To all of my small group girls - Alexa, Brittany, Kahlia, Sara, Alexis, and Anna. I love each and every one of you and I hate that I'm leaving you. But you guys are in good hands with Brittany. I already wrote everything fantastic about each of you and I gave them to all of you. I could go on and on and on about you guys. Gosh, I love you guys so much. Alexis, your cake is fantastic. I could eat it all the time if cake had no bad nutritional value. ;P

Grace, Sarah, and Heather, ya'll are getting your own dedications later (not sure when since everything is getting crazy at my house).

Andrea, you and I have gotten in fights, but we always seem to have each other's backs. Thank you for all of your fabulous-ness. I still remember volleyball Senior Night, the best Senior Night ever ;).

Bo, why the heck don't we talk more?! This changes now. Imma hit you up on Facebook more so when I get back we'll already be in the habit of talking to each other all the time. You don't know this, but I crazy admire you. Also, that was so nice of you to say that youth would be missing something without me. Thank you.

Daniel, dude you are my brother. I know you hate me and I'm obnoxious and blah, but I really really want to know you more. I want to be there for you. I know there are some issues with us, but I hope we can work past that. You have potential. Don't waste it.

Matt, oh man, you're fourteen! You always make me laugh and I just love your carefree, playful, easygoing attitude. I just love you, man, plain and simple. I will always be able to lift you ;) Do everything to glorify the Lord and you will be running strong.

Doreen, you are the voice amongst the noise. You say want you mean and I can go to you for some seriously tough love. I still remember your words about my lack of control in anything because it's all in God's hands. (You wrote that on my Facebook Birthday note.)

Danielle aka Danny, the most adorable girl I know! We don't know each other well, but I'd like to know you more. You have spunk, charm, and you are surprisingly outgoing. I love that you give your opinion no matter what. Honesty is refreshing; don't lose who you are.

Jimmy, Jimmy, Jimmy. Oh for crying in the night the frito bandito is on the run. I have so enjoyed having you as a youth pastor. You are real and alive and open. Thank you so so so much for giving me the opportunity to speak tonight. You keep everyone going with your sense of humor. I love how everything can roll off your back.

Marcus, a year. A whole year with you and Russ. Oh man. Apple fritters all the way. I'm going to miss you guys up there. I loved our random conversations and how we always picked on each other. You are amazingly gifted and I love your Tri House group. More gospel rap PLEASE! (Though I never got to your house for tri tip...) If you ever need something media related, please don't hesitate to call/text/Facebook. And thanks for saying that new guy has such big shoes to fill. That was very kind (though untrue).

Michelle, you have always welcomed me with open arms and I thank you so much for that. You are so easy to talk to. You have fed me and consoled me and I thank you again for your refreshing, calming nature. I can't wait to talk to you more!

Carolyn, you know why you're on here :). You will get your own dedication later as well.

Danny, you better kick some serious tail on Student Council. I'm totally serious on my offer - call me whenever. I'll probably give you some obvious advice or I might not have much to give, but I would not mind being involved in the school community process. Let me know when St. Baldrick's is happening again. Maybe I really will shave my head this time...

To everyone - I LOVE ALL OF YOU! I'm going to miss small group and youth group so much. Today I really felt sad to be leaving. A part of me cried out to stay. But have no fear, you will have all forgotten me by Thanksgiving break ;)

Oh and to the prayer group that was in the Spirit to intercede for my man and I to meet... Can't wait to see what happens, ahahaha.

I love you guys. See you soon!