The other day, I was watching Lemonade Mouth, one of Disney Channel's original movies, with a friend. There's this one scene with this kid Wen (whom I happened to have in a couple of my classes and thereby am famous by association) and his father; Dad plans to marry Girlfriend Sydney and tells Wen this. Wen isn't happy about this because no one could ever replace his mother, especially not his dad's girlfriend, whom he's come to demonize, but in reality she's perfectly alright (typical kid reaction to potential new parent). When Wen asks why Dad is marrying Sydney, Dad replies, "Because she makes me happy."
...For real? That's your answer? The more I thought about it, the more I realized this is a typical answer for that question.
And it's a pretty stupid answer.
So she makes you happy. I'm assuming your statement means she consistently makes you happy, all day, every day, all the time. She never pisses you off? Ever? Like, you've never gotten into a fight where you've desperately wanted to tear each other's hair out? I call b.s.
So what if she makes you happy? A LOT OF PEOPLE make you happy. Clearly your son does; you're not thinkin' about marrying him too are you? 'Cuz that might get awkward.
That answer needs to be expanded. You can't tell me you're only gonna marry a person because he makes you happy. What does that even mean? HOW does she make you happy? What does he do when you're upset or depressed? There has to be something else, some other reason.
"Well, I love him/her." Um, ok? And? Wait, that's it? Marriage is hardcore; you better be friggin' sure you can handle that mess, that weight, that COMMITMENT. Yeah, I said it- CUH-MIT-MEANT. I'm pretty sure you're in that "in love" stage in which you think this individual is perfect, amazing, and stupendous. Now, is any of that necessarily wrong to think? Of course not. But you must realize that this person is human and therefore
fails at something at some level at some point; this person probably pisses you off at some point.
What do your arguments reveal about your characters? I'm a firm believer in members of a relationship fighting. Am I talking abuse? Of course not. But words will be said, actions will be taken, and feelings will get hurt. I think that's great for a relationship. It means real issues are surfacing and need to be dealt with accordingly. It gives each member a chance to say, "Wow, can I really handle someone like this?" Then they go at it again to work it out or eventually dissipate the relationship. Fights are a great tool for understanding perspectives and how to correct grievances made against those perspectives.
So for the "love" of all that is sane, please come up with a better excuse than "she makes me happy" unless you want me to go ballistic on your illogical reasoning.
What are your reasons?
Because he's worth it. :) Is that a good enough reason for you?
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