Thursday, October 25, 2012
Ana and Mia--Dangerous, Diabolical, Disorders
And then Ana and Mia come stalking around, and the eating disorder lioness won't release her claws from your flesh. Reminds me of Skinny by Ibi Kaslik
I posted this on Pinterest a long time ago because it scared me. I don't totally get eating disorders, but I know they can move me to tears.
Especially when they touch people close to me, and I'm too chicken-shit to point it out in them. When I know the signs but I don't know quite enough to make that judgment call. Instead I rationalize it, write it off.
I hate myself.
I just found a friend's Tumblr about her amazing weight loss journey. She inspired me, helped me lead a healthier life. Turns out she has been struggling with anorexic. And I was too fucking stupid to realize that during my time with her last year.
God, why am I so damn stupid? I knew it. I knew she wasn't eating enough, that she was getting obsessive. I knew that, knew it knew it knew it, shared a damn room with her for two nights on trip. Why didn't I see it, call her out on it?
She confided part of herself to me. That she worried about how obsessive she was getting. We talked about eating disorders. Talked about my potential dive into that world.
Why didn't I see it? Why didn't I stop it?
Regardless, she is seeking help. Looking for guidance. I pray, Father, that she returns to You, that You take this cup from her. Does Setting Captives Free have a program for anorexia? I know they have one for over-eating/weight loss.
Thank You, Papa, for opening her eyes even when I blinded mine. Thank You, God, for Your power and Your wisdom and Your mercy.
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