I Lift Mine Eyes Up to the Hills

Strange how one text can shatter your world, yet denial keeps the fractures perfectly shielded as you blink and wonder what in the hell is wrong with Autocorrect or T9 and then--

"Alexis Monasterio is dead..."

Blank stares.
Tossing and turning.
Sleep is far,
Rise and read for yourself.

Some dickhead makes some comment about jaywalkers
So you go to bed again, this time pissed.
Two hours in and you're at stage two.

Two phone calls.
Explaining, voice fairly strong,
Twice
What's happened. (Yet, strangely, your parents haven't called.)

Miss a third phone call.
Wake up to a friend
Trying to hold it together
As she asks you what went down.

Jump into stage Depression
But try to wipe it from your face.
Still a student notices,
Asks why you're so glum.

Maybe you should've cracked,
Just told them.
But your throat doesn't work
The words too lumpy, sticky,
Burning in your gullet.

Back to denial.
Keep it at arm's length.

Then you lip-scream to a favorite song
And the cold and the lyrics and the moment
Make tears prick your eyelids.

But you have seminar
So you suck it up.
For now.

Prayers are already hard--
Now they seem impossible.
But He knows your spirit,
Knows your words
Their intentions.

So you give Him your nothingness,
Pray He makes miracles out of your chaos.

Smile because you know
You'll see her smile again.
And her cakes will taste even better
With all that nectar and ambrosia.

Where does my help come from?
My [hope] comes from the Lord--
The Maker
Of heaven and earth.